Parent-Teacher conference

Just an update about Miles's progress in Kindergarten.  I am happy to report that he continues to love going to school, and almost every day when I pick him up from after-care and ask him "how was your day?" he usually responds "great!"  There have been a few tears related to long days/late pick-ups, but generally he's doing well.

Ms. Linville's biggest concern is his "youth."  Yes, he's only five and in kindergarten, but the youngest in the class.  Some of his classmates are already six or turning six within a few weeks.  At this age, 9-10 months makes a difference in attention span, which are his biggest challenges.  On Miles's assessment, the "Needs More Experience" column was checked for the following:

• stays on task without supervision
• completes tasks in reasonable time
• listens without interrupting others

I think it's a very fair assessment.  Miles's attention span is definitely pretty short, but I think it's a brain developmental issue right now.  I am trying to work on self-control (Ethan would be proud of me for calling it executive function.) but so much of it is just maturity, I hope.  Nicely surprising to me is Miles's word literacy.  One of the skills they are picking up is independent writing, and I'll have to post some of his writing samples.  But on Monday he wrote (verbatim): "Mom took training wheels off my bik."  Other entries are "I plyd wif cars all day. Mom said there was a crash."  He's working on word bubbles also, so that's cute.

Miles's math literacy, in assessment terms, is a bit behind his word literacy (though on par or slightly above average other Kindergartners).  The rare homework he has are math worksheets that he didn't complete in class (see bullet point #2 above). 

On Thursday afternoons we continue to do gymnastics.  Cameras aren't allowed in the gym, but he can do a supported back bend and walk unassisted on the balance beam.  In class, he has developed his first crush on a girl named Willow.  He always asks, "do you think we'll see Willow?" and then he follows her around like a puppy and always tries to get her attention.  She's in 1st grade and about 3" taller than him, so it's kind of cute (but a teeny bit annoying to watch). 

Busy weekend ahead...thanks for checking in.  Friday is the last day of NaBloPoMo.  Then back to my sporadic posting.  :-(

The theme of loss

Miles & I watched most of "The Wizard of Oz" on TV before dinner on Sunday evening.  He has seen parts of it before, but we watched 'til the end this time.  I was with him for most of it, including the scary parts (flying monkeys) and he seemed fine.  We talked about how it's "not real" and that I assured him that there would be a happy ending.  (Side note: "The Wizard of Oz" along with "The Sound of Music" have always been my favorite movies from childhood, which I usually watch once a year.)  The movie ended at 6:00 and I got up from the couch at about 5:45 to prepare dinner, and I think the ending is "happy" with Dorothy reunited with her family in Kansas.  When I went back to the living room, Miles was crying, seriously crying with tears streaming down his little face.  He said, "Mama...I'm so sad!!!!!  She left her friends!!!!  She won't ever see her friends again!"  I tried to reassure him that Dorothy was with her family, and that didn't mollify him; in fact, he got more upset that she wouldn't ever see the Lion, Tin Man, and Scarecrow again.  I have to say that his reaction surprised me.  But that I shouldn't underestimate the theme of loss in Miles's life. 

This video speaks for itself!

He is actually able to ride a bit farther than this video shows, but it made me dizzy just watching! Great job, Miles!

Two-wheelin'

Big day...I took the training wheels off Miles's bike.  Miles believed that he'd simply ride, but he discovered that it was harder than he thought.  As with most kids, the second he started wobbling, he got scared (and there was a lot of wobbling!).  What a trooper; he worked really hard!  And we made progress; after 45 minutes he was able to coast for quite awhile and was pedaling with my assistance.  I'll try to post video soon! 

Gratitude

Happy Thanksgiving!  Mellow day so far...Miles is working on some "projects" this morning (drawing), and I'm having coffee with Bailey's.  :-)  We'll bake brownies (Mark Bittman's delicious and easy recipe) and prepare our dishes for dinner.  Then, off to the Bunns for our annual feast.  Andy makes the BEST gravy! 

An exchange Miles & I had this morning:
M: "Mama, you're not listening! I'm going to take away your privileges!"
G: "Which privileges are you taking away?"
M: "No computer time and NO CROSSWORDS!"
G: "Okay, I'll be a better listener..."
M: "Guess what? You can have your privileges back!" 

I'm thankful for a great kid and my drama-free life. 

Running

You know your kid is a Northwest kid when a 1K run in the rain doesn't faze him in the least.  I had registered Miles for a Kids' Turkey Trot several weeks ago, after his first race, and he was eager to run another.  We awoke to rain...lots of it, but he still wanted to run. 

Pre-race

My ever-adventurous mom ran the race with him (and couldn't keep up with my fleet-footed kid!)

Right after the start (the kids' race started at the official finish line of the adult race)

People

Here's a picture that Miles drew today:

Miles was very specific to draw five (fat) fingers on "Mom" and "Dady" and you can sort of make out his little fingers.  Okay, Norman Rockwell he's not, but it's fun to watch his drawing develop. 

We spent the day in Seattle, visiting my parents, who have just returned from a six-week trip to Taiwan (for my mom's 50th elementary school reunion!).  It was nice to see them! 

November Hiking

I continue to be grateful and happy that I am surrounded by friends.  On what would have otherwise been a dreary day, Miles & I went on a little hike with the Bunns, and the McDuxills (John, Julie, Callum, and Xavier).  Typically gray for this time of year, but the rain didn't start until we were happily ensconced in front of the Bunns' wood stove. 

Lately, I have been thinking of/missing Ethan, more than usual (which is a lot).  Miles & I have settled into a rhythm of sorts, but still, there is a big hole.  But...I am more happy than sad most days, and I'll take it.  :-)

Micah & Miles looking at fungi.

Storytelling

Miles's storytelling is quite elaborate sometimes, and it's so entertaining.  Here he is with several of his favorite toy sets: Plan City (the table) and Playmobil figures.  I love it when he's so imaginative.  This was one of several scenarios, and after the second one, I realized that I should capture it on video: 

Thanks, Grandma!

Miles received an early Christmas present from Grandma Kathy today:

TGIF

I wish I had something profound to say, and if it wasn't November, I'd probably just stay quiet...but here goes.

It's Friday of a pretty eventful (!) and happy week for me.  It was also busy with the usual comings-and-goings.  Miles continues to love gymnastics, and one of these days I'll post a photo.  Most of the time, he's the only boy in the class, which doesn't faze him in the least. 

I have been putting Miles down to bed at 7:15 almost every night, but he's always still tired in the morning!  This morning I had to rouse him so we wouldn't be late.  I'm not sure an even earlier bedtime would help.  We've both had a succession of colds lately (I'm finally healthy enough for a flu shot this afternoon).  He is a VERY sound sleeper, and doesn't have any apnea-like issues.  I genuinely think his little body just needs extra sleep lately.  TGIF and letting him sleep in tomorrow.

It's a glorious fall day in Bellingham...chilly (low-40s and sunny).  Off to get a flu shot and hopefully go for a quick run before I pick up the kiddo.

Cheers to our Veterans, and have a nice weekend.  My parents are returning from Taiwan after a month-long visit, so we'll make our way to Seattle on Monday.  

More on Miles

I've mentioned before how hard it is to know how Miles really processes grief.  He is truly a resilient, sweet, and strong little kid.  But yesterday, as he's finishing up dinner, he asks me, "Mama, was I three when Daddy died?" I replied, "yes. What made you think of it?" Miles replied, "I was just feenking about Daddy now."  So, he clearly has moments of missing and thinking and very likely craving his Dad. 

I refused to watch/listen to any election news yesterday, until about 8:00 Pacific time, when I watched "The Daily Show."  Love that Jon Stewart called it.  Tired and relieved and happy today. 

Election Day

I remember going to sleep late, twelve years ago, and waking up to an unexpected (and startling) outcome.  I am hopeful about HOPE tonight. In our state, legalization of marijuana and same-sex marriage are on the ballot.  And of course, my professional and personal stake in the environment.  As a parent, I want Miles to live in a world that isn't burning itself up, and isn't drilling its way into doom (cue the dramatic music).  Obama was certainly disappointing to most environmentalists.  I sincerely hope that his second term will result in stronger protections.  I keep my fingers and toes crossed today.  And whatever happens, THANKFULLY the ads will stop!  I am grateful that Washington is not a swing state; those poor Ohioans and Iowans inundated 24-7. 

On a more serious note...our lives these days

Most days, I feel so utterly busy; I don't have time to think (literally).  My professional commitments -- prepping/teaching, grading (blech), attending lots of meetings -- take up a most of the work day, but I also want to be healthy, so I several times I week, I'll leave at lunch to go to the gym and come back to the office, or I leave around 3:00 to go running.  Oh, the guilt!  I suppose it would be worse to be a workaholic and never exercise (which isn't an option for me!), but it's hard when I have a constant stack of papers on my desk.  I'm lucky to not have any "new preps" this year; all my classes are ones I have taught before, so the prepping is less than it would be for a brand new class. 

I don't really ascribe to the Mommy Guilt that seems to be all over the blogosphere these days.  I know that I am doing the best I can, but I certainly do feel pulled in different directions.  Meetings I can't attend because they're too early or too late in the day (Miles drop-off or pick-up).  Evening events that I choose to forgo because I'd rather be home with Miles than get a babysitter...  I also feel a certain responsibility for the extra slack that my colleagues pulled when Ethan was sick.  As a result, I'm on lots of committees, and have taken on extra responsibilities at work.  So, what yields?  On some days, Miles is in school from 8:30 to 3:00, and I can't pick him up from after-school care until 5:00.  Poor kiddo!  No wonder he's so tired lately!

First and foremost, Miles is my #1 priority in life so I never feel like it's a sacrifice.  He's thriving in school; really loves it and his teacher says he's doing well.  He has lots of friends, and I think is liked by others.  But I realize that he's still young and has lots of emotional challenges.  There are some days when Miles seems particularly vulnerable, frustration expressed by crying/screaming, but it's rare.  Late last year his separation anxiety was pretty severe; he had to be in the same room with me all the time.  Several months of play therapy really helped him, and I have seen his emotional growth and resilience.  Getting back to the "guilt" thing, I wish Miles had more support from other adults.  I have lots of support myself, and lots of people who can be with him, but I wish for a more steady (male?) presence. or at least someone to share the responsibility.  One thing I do well is during the school week, we are very structured.  There's definitely flexibility, but the one thing I value above all else is sleep quality.  We have an early dinner, and we start the bedtime routine at 7:00, earlier if he's getting a bath.  Then it's often lights out by 7:20 and he falls asleep right away, sleeping through the night until about 6:30 (unless he crowds me, ha ha).  I realize that during school days, our awake time together is only a few hours...

Then there are perfectly wonderful unstructured together days, like the one we had on Saturday.  "Sleeping in" until 7:30, a luxury for me (Miles was already watching Little Einsteins on the iPad), followed by breakfast with our dear neighbors.  Then, Costco, which Miles enjoys.  He was so cute this morning: he had my shopping list and he dutifully crossed off items as we put them in the cart.  Leisurely lunch at home, then the afternoon spent at Perch & Play, a newly-opened indoor play place in town.  Perfect for the rainy day: http://perchandplay.com/ .  And free wi-fi for adults!  Miles had a great time.  Then he got a haircut and we came home.  That's it.  Love our unstructured/unplanned days; they are such a contrast to the work week, when I have my planner, my lists, my to-do items...those of you know me, you know of what I speak.  :-)

Politics 2012

At the risk of offending some, I delve into politics for this post.  The Washington State gubernatorial race is tight...the 2008 gubernatorial race was won by Christine Gregoire by 144 (!!!) votes, and this one is equally close:  polls show a 47%-47% split between the two candidates, Jay Inslee (D) and Rob McKenna (R).  Jay has ably represented Washington State in the other Washington, and McKenna, our current State Attorney General is a Tea Party guy pretending to be moderate.  (He was one of the AGs to sue the federal government over the federal health care mandate.) 

With that said, I am getting totally politicked out, 48 hours before Election Day.  I am muting TV and radio ads, and also not following NPR as closely as usual.  I hate that it has gotten so mean-spirited. 

Jay Inslee stands for all that is right (ahem, meaning left) in the state: marriage equality (we could be the first state to approve it at the polls), health care access and freedom of choice for women, and important to me, environmental protection:

Here's me and our next Governor at a fundraiser today.

Little people for Inslee!  (Miles has been to more political fundraisers/rallies/events than some adults!)

12 for 2012

A non-Miles post (so feel free to stop reading), but I'm trying to keep up my blog posts!  I have been participating in Village Books's 12 for 2012 "challenge" to read 12 books -- one each month -- this year. 

Earlier this week, when I picked Miles up from the babysitter, he was READING quietly at the table (mostly looking at pictures).  This morning, he picked up a few Dr. Seuss board books and was genuinely reading to himself: "UP CUP PUP" which I'm so happy about!  Ethan & I both love(d) to read, and I'm glad that Miles is starting to enjoy it as well. 

Here are my twelve through the end of October:
January: Gabby (about Gabrielle Giffords) -- what an inspiring story!
February: True Colors by Kristin Hanna (satisfying chick lit)
March: Non-Toxic Avenger which I was reading because I required it for my Environmental Studies class for spring quarter.
April:  American Way of Eating -- also reading for possible use in my class, a fascinating read about food justice in the U.S. Rush Limbaugh pilloried the author, Tracie Macmillan, so you know it's a good book! 
May: Dreaming New Dreams -- my only "widow" book this year.  You may have heard of Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon professor who chronicled about, and later died of pancreatic cancer.  He had three young kids.  His widow, Jai Pausch wrote this book about life after loss.
June: State of Wonder -- I loved Bel Canto and though this book wasn't as good, it was a great story. 
July: Overdressed: The Shockingly High Cost of Cheap Fashion -- loved this book (was also reviewing it for possible course adoption).  Did you know that the average American purchases 64 new pieces of clothing each year?  And there's a huge environmental cost.  Many people think that "oh, I'll just donate or consign my clothes when I'm done," but still, the capacity is exceeded at many local Salvation Army locations. 
August: I actually read several books this month (vacation), but the two most memorable were Olive Kitteride and Monkey Mind.  The latter was a memoir of a writer with severe OCD; it was kind of interesting but just okay. 
September: Freedom -- ugh, a long slog of a book.  I love Jonathan Franzen's plot lines and drama, but he is such a "heavy" writer.  I find him really hard to read; his books could easily be 30% shorter with the same amount of drama and without the long-winded descriptions!  I found myself skimming, just to find out what happened, but not wanting to read minutiae. 
October: The Longest Race is about the JFK 50-miler.  Having completed the Portland Half Marathon, I was in a running mood.  It was interesting to read about ultra-marathoning.
November: I started Tomatoland on October 29, and just finished it.  It's kind of like a biography of the tomato, and the author spends a lot of time on social justice issues as well.  The book was borne out of an article in Gourmet Magazine, and he also blogs: http://politicsoftheplate.com/
December: Miles & I are meeting the Remmels in Maui, so I'm sure I'll pack several books!  Stay tuned...

Post-Halloween blues

Miles woke up at 5:00 this morning, crawled into bed with me, kicked/thrashed/wiggled until I made him go rest on the floor. He fell asleep again, and I hated to, but had to wake him up at 7:45 (we were late for school!). And then...as we were leaving the house, Miles saw this: 


Poor Mr. Jack has been decaying for several days now, but the 48 hours of rain probably put him over the edge.  Blech.  Miles CRIED the whole way to school: "he was my favorite jack o'lantern EVER!  WAAAHHHH!"

 

TGIF!

November!

Day One of NaBloPoMo 

Miles's kindergarten class went on a field trip to the Mount Baker Theatre in town this week.  Several of the primary grades watched the "Imperial Acrobats Chi of Shaolin - Tale of the Dragon" which apparently is a story about an injured thief who is found by a monk and eventually healed and redeemed.  The story is told with dance, martial arts, and acrobatics.  When I went to pick him up after school, he was SO excited and said the show was "great!" 

In the car, I asked him about the Chinese acrobats:
Grace: "Were the acrobats Chinese?"
Miles: "What's Chinese?"
Grace (perplexed): "Um, did they look like me?"
Miles (in a "duh" tone): "No Mama they didn't look like you at all!  They looked like me and Daddy!" 

Hm.  One possible explanation is that I mostly describe myself (and my family) as Taiwanese, rather than Chinese.  And I didn't want to push the issue too much.  Another possibility is that he may not think about race in the way adults do.  But our mini-conversation led me re-read the work of Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman, authors of Nurtureshock. 

Here's a link of an excellent discussion of race: http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/blogs/nurture-shock/2009/09/11/is-discussing-race-with-a-3-year-old-too-young.html

This quote resonates with me: "According to Harris-Britt (a clinical psychologist who studies race), teaching a child about race shouldn't consist of acute exposure to race; comfort in racial differences comes through a calm, continuous process of exposure. And that should begin at the very beginning."

With that said, Bellingham is not a particularly diverse community.