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| Official 3rd grade portrait |
WWU posted this photo today with the caption, "Good morning, Bellingham!"
Thursday, October 15, 2015
October!
WWU posted this photo today with the caption, "Good morning, Bellingham!"
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
EIGHT!!!!!
First day of school, and Miles's birthday! Lucky to have a smart, funny, silly boy!
Happy Birthday!!!!
Happy Birthday!!!!
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| Two days old! |
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| Two weeks old (Baby Tai Chi) |
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| Looking a bit like Ethan here |
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| Our lovely 2 and a half block walk to school. He really wants to walk by himself, but I love the walk! |
Saturday, February 21, 2015
February musings
When I first started writing this blog in early 2008, it was to create a space for my family and friends to "keep up" with Miles's Miles-stones (ha!). But as I reflect, it has also been great for me to look back and remember things that have happened to him, and us as a small family of two. Someday, Miles may read this and this might be a good record of my perspective on our lives. (His memories may differ, of course, but right now I'm the historian of record!)
There have been some stretches of time where I'll post several in a month; and using this post as an example, none for several months in a row. But I like blog writing; I like that it's not academic-ese, that it's cathartic, and reflective. This longish hiatus from writing was in part because I have so much to say -- about Miles, about my parents' deaths, about living -- that it has been hard to capture into words. This is my attempt to catch up on the last few months
I'm an avid blog reader...I have several that I read if not daily, at least several times a week: they range from environmental, parenting, widow-hood (and I've met so many wonderful women this way: Stacey and Melodie, I'm talking to you!), and grieving. Environmental blogs give me ideas about my teaching, some give me hope; others make me angry. Parenting blogs are helpful so I know I'm not going crazy with an exuberant seven year old, whom I sometimes want to throttle. Grieving blogs were helpful at first, after Ethan's death, and then they weren't (I found them well, annoying)...but lately I've been re-visiting some of them. (If you are interested, e-mail me at my yahoo address and I'm happy to send you my blog reading list.)
So, the update, in abbreviated form, since my five loyal readers already know most of it. My mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in early September 2014. She was such a wonderful woman, and it pains me to refer to her in the past tense. We -- the five kids -- made particular effort to see as much of my parents as we could for the next several months, spending Thanksgiving and the Christmas holiday with them.
Unfortunately, the standard course of chemotherapy (gemcitabine + abraxane) didn't work, and by early December, it had metastasized to her liver. One of her dying wishes was to see her siblings in the San Jose, CA area. So on Christmas Day, my two older brothers and dad bundled her up for the drive to California. Late that night, my brother Gary called me to tell me that my mom was in the ER at O'Connor Hospital in San Jose, and that Miles and I needed to fly down as soon as possible. We flew out in the morning, were able to see my mom (while she was still lucid). Miles was so brave, and such a great kid under these very hard circumstances. I was very proud of him. He held my mom's hand. My mom died late in the evening on December 27th, with my sister Gigi and brothers Gene and Greg by her side.
My father died two weeks later, on January 10th. It still hurts to write those words, so this is just the abbreviated version (for now). Of course, there isn't a "happy ending" but...we were able to honor my parents by scattering their ashes together on January 19th off the Edmonds Pier, a place they loved to walk. The day would have been their 52nd wedding anniversary. All the kids, grandkids, and a small gathering of both my parents' siblings were able to attend. It was a gorgeous day, and befitting of my parents' love for us, and each other.
This post is also intended as an enormous thank you to all my friends, near and far, who have sent cards, flowers, cookies, wine, and meals. And thank you for the offers to be with Miles. I am truly overwhelmed at your love and kindness. I took the month of January on Personal Leave to cry, reflect, and just "be." The Remmels came to visit in early February and we had a nice little mini-vacation to Harrison Hot Springs. I totally needed it! I will forever be grateful to WWU and my Department Chair for letting that happen, and to my colleagues who took on some of my work during that time.
Miles is a different story. It's hard to know how he's doing. On the surface, he's the same curious, exuberant, silly, and annoying kid he's always been. But he's really struggling at school. His teacher, Hugh Allan, sends unfinished work home every Friday that Miles wasn't able to complete during the week. It's usually a stack of 3-5 incomplete worksheets, which he does on Sunday. Mr. Allan says that Miles is distracted and unable to focus. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have ADHD; I think it's a combination of youth -- he's the youngest in his class, just barely making the district cut-off date for his grade -- and maybe grieving. But who really knows? He was doing much better, focus-wise, before the holidays, which partly has me believing it's grief. But Miles has always been a social kid, so I think that's part of it as well. Miles has been participating in Our Treehouse, which is a children's support group for those who have lost a parent or sibling. It's a pretty big commitment of two evenings a month, but he's finally around other kids who have all been where he is. (I think that sometimes Miles feels "left out" because he's one of just a few kids who doesn't have a dad in his life.)
I miss my parents terribly, but have a pretty busy and fulfilling life right now. I shouldn't chide Miles about being distracted; I haven't been myself at all since September, with my mom's illness and subsequent death. I told someone who asked, "I'm more okay than not okay" which is exactly how I feel. But I'm definitely losing my marbles lately...the house is a mess, the piles are well, piling up, and I can't seem to focus. (I've actually been sitting here writing for the past 40 minutes, which is something that I haven't been able to do until today.) By nature, I'm not an absent-minded person; I never lose my keys, never let things "slide" and never miss an appointment so it has been challenging to say the least, to not be on top of things.
So, to wrap things up: I'm (mostly) okay, life has been busy with me being back at work, trying to parent Miles in my compassionate, yet Tiger Mom kind of way, and then the grind of every day life. (Laundry! Dishes! Bills!) Miles & I made a quick trip to Portland last weekend, so we *do* get out of town. This is kind of a funny story: my favorite hotel, Modera, in downtown Portland had a "Romance Package" complete with roses and champagne. Great deal, and I didn't have to share the champagne. :-) (It's actually still unopened, in my fridge.)
But thank you again for your kindness and support (and goodies).
Love,
~Grace
There have been some stretches of time where I'll post several in a month; and using this post as an example, none for several months in a row. But I like blog writing; I like that it's not academic-ese, that it's cathartic, and reflective. This longish hiatus from writing was in part because I have so much to say -- about Miles, about my parents' deaths, about living -- that it has been hard to capture into words. This is my attempt to catch up on the last few months
I'm an avid blog reader...I have several that I read if not daily, at least several times a week: they range from environmental, parenting, widow-hood (and I've met so many wonderful women this way: Stacey and Melodie, I'm talking to you!), and grieving. Environmental blogs give me ideas about my teaching, some give me hope; others make me angry. Parenting blogs are helpful so I know I'm not going crazy with an exuberant seven year old, whom I sometimes want to throttle. Grieving blogs were helpful at first, after Ethan's death, and then they weren't (I found them well, annoying)...but lately I've been re-visiting some of them. (If you are interested, e-mail me at my yahoo address and I'm happy to send you my blog reading list.)
So, the update, in abbreviated form, since my five loyal readers already know most of it. My mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in early September 2014. She was such a wonderful woman, and it pains me to refer to her in the past tense. We -- the five kids -- made particular effort to see as much of my parents as we could for the next several months, spending Thanksgiving and the Christmas holiday with them.
Unfortunately, the standard course of chemotherapy (gemcitabine + abraxane) didn't work, and by early December, it had metastasized to her liver. One of her dying wishes was to see her siblings in the San Jose, CA area. So on Christmas Day, my two older brothers and dad bundled her up for the drive to California. Late that night, my brother Gary called me to tell me that my mom was in the ER at O'Connor Hospital in San Jose, and that Miles and I needed to fly down as soon as possible. We flew out in the morning, were able to see my mom (while she was still lucid). Miles was so brave, and such a great kid under these very hard circumstances. I was very proud of him. He held my mom's hand. My mom died late in the evening on December 27th, with my sister Gigi and brothers Gene and Greg by her side.
My father died two weeks later, on January 10th. It still hurts to write those words, so this is just the abbreviated version (for now). Of course, there isn't a "happy ending" but...we were able to honor my parents by scattering their ashes together on January 19th off the Edmonds Pier, a place they loved to walk. The day would have been their 52nd wedding anniversary. All the kids, grandkids, and a small gathering of both my parents' siblings were able to attend. It was a gorgeous day, and befitting of my parents' love for us, and each other.
This post is also intended as an enormous thank you to all my friends, near and far, who have sent cards, flowers, cookies, wine, and meals. And thank you for the offers to be with Miles. I am truly overwhelmed at your love and kindness. I took the month of January on Personal Leave to cry, reflect, and just "be." The Remmels came to visit in early February and we had a nice little mini-vacation to Harrison Hot Springs. I totally needed it! I will forever be grateful to WWU and my Department Chair for letting that happen, and to my colleagues who took on some of my work during that time.
Miles is a different story. It's hard to know how he's doing. On the surface, he's the same curious, exuberant, silly, and annoying kid he's always been. But he's really struggling at school. His teacher, Hugh Allan, sends unfinished work home every Friday that Miles wasn't able to complete during the week. It's usually a stack of 3-5 incomplete worksheets, which he does on Sunday. Mr. Allan says that Miles is distracted and unable to focus. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have ADHD; I think it's a combination of youth -- he's the youngest in his class, just barely making the district cut-off date for his grade -- and maybe grieving. But who really knows? He was doing much better, focus-wise, before the holidays, which partly has me believing it's grief. But Miles has always been a social kid, so I think that's part of it as well. Miles has been participating in Our Treehouse, which is a children's support group for those who have lost a parent or sibling. It's a pretty big commitment of two evenings a month, but he's finally around other kids who have all been where he is. (I think that sometimes Miles feels "left out" because he's one of just a few kids who doesn't have a dad in his life.)
I miss my parents terribly, but have a pretty busy and fulfilling life right now. I shouldn't chide Miles about being distracted; I haven't been myself at all since September, with my mom's illness and subsequent death. I told someone who asked, "I'm more okay than not okay" which is exactly how I feel. But I'm definitely losing my marbles lately...the house is a mess, the piles are well, piling up, and I can't seem to focus. (I've actually been sitting here writing for the past 40 minutes, which is something that I haven't been able to do until today.) By nature, I'm not an absent-minded person; I never lose my keys, never let things "slide" and never miss an appointment so it has been challenging to say the least, to not be on top of things.
So, to wrap things up: I'm (mostly) okay, life has been busy with me being back at work, trying to parent Miles in my compassionate, yet Tiger Mom kind of way, and then the grind of every day life. (Laundry! Dishes! Bills!) Miles & I made a quick trip to Portland last weekend, so we *do* get out of town. This is kind of a funny story: my favorite hotel, Modera, in downtown Portland had a "Romance Package" complete with roses and champagne. Great deal, and I didn't have to share the champagne. :-) (It's actually still unopened, in my fridge.)
But thank you again for your kindness and support (and goodies).
Love,
~Grace
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| The siblings, partners, and grandkids on January 19th. |
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| Three Remmels and a Wang at Harrison Hot Springs |
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| My fabulous caramel-chocolate birthday day, from Pure Bliss (thanks Kathy!) |
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