Innocence

Like the rest of the nation, I am stunned and saddened by the horrible events today in Connecticut.  I can't even type out what really happened.  Besides my hope for real gun reform legislation, I want more for my son to be innocent just a little bit longer.  He & I have been through so much...please, let him just be a kid with no worries. 

In the car after I picked him up, Miles casually mentioned to me that "we had a lock down at school today."  Without telling him anything he didn't need to know, I asked him to tell me what they did. 

Miles: "There was an announcement that there was a lock down and we all went into the coat room and closed the door." 
Grace: "You all fit into that tiny coat room?  Ms. Linville and all your friends?"  (17 kids if everyone was there)
Miles: "YES! And Oliver's daddy too!  All of us.  Then Ms. Linville turned off the lights and we didn't talk." 
Grace: "So, you were all very quiet..."
Miles: "Last time there were tears, but this time no one cried." 

So, they've practiced "lock down" prior to today. I don't know how to feel about this; I guess relieved that the school and district has something in place, but also so angry that little kids have to worry about such stuff.  I am still reeling with the news.  Lots of hugs to my little guy today.  He's sleeping in my bed tonight.  There are just no.more.words.  So sad.